Last summer I gave birth to a beautiful baby called Kaidance. She was very healthy and strong for a tiny size. But…well, I have to admit that being pregnant wasn’t as easy as you can see in the magazine. For me, no way I can wear 12cm heels or very adjusted dresses. I felt like an elephant with very big feet. I started to go on weight at the beginning of the second trimester but I was in my shapes, it was cool.
Then, between work (I am a designer), life and everyday routine, I start to be very tired so, as usually, I ate. My husband started to say little nasty sentences like “don’t eat that much you only eat for two” and the insecure begins like that…
Months after months, I went on weight, I wasn’t into seduction at all because I felt like the pregnancy got over me. As if I have lose every sense of sensuality and desire. I was a womb, on legs.
Of course, my friends were very understanding, they helped me with the house, the errances….and I tried to work as long as possible.
The only thing that I wasn’t paying attention at was my husband. And I wasn’t feeling it like this at all. It was almost his fault if I was pregnant, so fat, so ugly so depressed and tired.
I think that it was harder for him than for me.
He tried to speak to me but I never had have listen. I didn’t pay attention, too busy to complain.
When Kaidance born, we talked about how being a couple while being parents.
He made it very clear that to him, we weren’t a couple since quite 4 months. He also admitted that he thought many times about having an affair.
It was a choc. How can you think about this when your wife is pregnant?
And I got that… I have been so harsh on him.
The only thing he wanted was to help me go through this, to cuddle me and take care.
Instead of that, I was quite despising him.
Now, I know that nothing is secured for sure. But I’ve lost all the weight from the pregnancy with the help of my husband as he went to gym with me.
I did a little makeover to erase the insecure pregnant women in me. I give Kaidance to my parents to have my time and date my husband.
And I really do my best to be a hot mama, having my shapes back, my butt, my boobs.
Being a mum made me so sexy.