The feminist values don´t contradict the desire to start a family. The essential is to find the person who will share your views and life goals. Whether you are a feminist or you are for a traditional approach to the family, you should base your relationships on partnership and mutual love and trust in order to start a family. The type of family you are going to have starts with the first day of sharing the same roof. Here we have several professional pieces of advice from the marriage and family consultants for you. Read the article to find out how to keep balance with gender and equality issues.
1. Concentrate on the teamwork
According to Jenni Skyler, PhD, licensed marriage and family therapist, the teamwork is all that you need to manage the relationships and the family.
«You don´t need to keep the traditional gender roles. –says Skyler. —For example, in my family, I am running the business and all the financial issues, meanwhile, my husband does all the household chores and cooks ».
You should communicate with your partner and make you feel that everyone contributes to the relationships equally. That is far from the traditional pattern of the family, but if it works for the both of the partners and they feel comfortable in the relationships they will live long in that marriage.
2. Challenge the traditional gender roles
When it takes to cleaning, cooking and paying bills it´s better to discuss with the partner what suits you more and what each of you can do better. In a healthy relationship, you have numerous ways to act differently from the traditional gender role perception. If you hate sewing ask your partner to take this chore. Also, Holly Richmond advises to take initiative and challenge all the gender stereotypes in the bedroom.
3. Express your opinion
In an equal marriage, the couple doesn´t afraid of discussing its wishes, needs and emotions. If your significant one acts differently, try to find the approach to make him express all the feelings. Don´t judge if you don´t want to lose the trust. In case that he or she refuses to communicate, give some time to calm down and try again later.
4. Be honest
Always say the truth it influences on the decisions you make – says relationship expert, marriage and family therapist Jane Greer. Frankness is more important than fake happiness. Try to stay honest even if you risk ending up with a spoilt evening and a quarrel. Besides, if you want to be equal in the relationship make sure your vote matters, as well as you should pay attention to your partner´s opinion.
5. Find out what each of you waits from the equal marriage
Ideally, you should do that before the wedding. Talk about your expectation towards the marriage and the family you are going to start. Don´t let other people and society to impose their expectations on your marriage. Be honest and don´t be afraid of breaking his or her expectation about the gender roles. Just say if you don´t like cooking, you can´t pretend that kitchen is the place you feel comfortable in for a long time.